What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Yes!

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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