Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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girls lacrosse

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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