What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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Civil Rights.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops