What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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Why was the Black Panther upset? Because racial tensions were high in the 60s.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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