so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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Why did I get raped

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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Soccer...

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rose are red violets should be purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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