Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

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you just contradicted yourself.

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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elliot forsythe is a paedo

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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Stephen Walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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