tommy is retared

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

A dog is always in the pushup position.

What do you call a bear. Rob.

2 Penises

A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...