What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What's a pirate's favorite color? Depends on the pirate.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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