When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

involved parents.

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

What do you call a gay lion tamer. It depends on their name.

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

A Jew walks into a Furness

What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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