What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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zebras

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q. What happened when a mouse ran up the clock and it struck 12? A. It fell off and got raped by an 80 year old Asian lady with breast cancer

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Charlie morgans a pussy EDEN HAZARDS A TANK

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Alt F4

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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hit the thumbs down button

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops