A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

Hey, look under there! Under what?

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...