What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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Hey, look under there! Under what?

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops