It's long!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I hate blackniggers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You know what is not cool? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

this is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -15

God is real

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops