Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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How did Muhammed Ali get into Professional Boxing? With a lot of hard work and dedication.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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this is gay

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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