Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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Dubstep < Music

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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knock knock WUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!!! WUUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! WUUUUUZZZZUU......

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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