What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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knock knock who's there?

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

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OBAMA

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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What's up? A direction...

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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man boobs

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Why did little jennifer shit herself? Because she fell over.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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