A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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ha.

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops