roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Women Voting

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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