the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Where is my tractor?

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Sorry boss

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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That didn't hurt.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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