My mom caught me masturbating.

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you

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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Your mom

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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