How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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How old is victor? Old

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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