What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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