How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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You just won the game...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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I grammer is gooder then yours.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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who eats pencils asians

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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maddie latino

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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Why does the Anti-Joke site suck? Because it's not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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