Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops