When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops