Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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42.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Pickles

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Ass

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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