Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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democracy

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Cows go moo.

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Women's rights

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops