How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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i eat poop

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69

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Knock Knock Come in

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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What is worse than hell?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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