What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Women's football

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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