why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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don't look behind you

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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