Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2

thumb_up thumb_down +8

jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

21

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops