A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Penis!

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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