A blind man walks into a bar

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Potato.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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96

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops