what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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