Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

Black Veil Brides.

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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