Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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That's Racist

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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*you're

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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