How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Anti jokes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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