What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -33

"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

women's lacrosse.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops