a

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Matt is a Duster!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops