Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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