Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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23

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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