q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Refridgerator.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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