What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Penis

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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