Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops