What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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