A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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