Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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