What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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