What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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