What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

thumb_up thumb_down +2

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops