Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops