Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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