What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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