A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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