Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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