how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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