How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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