why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops