What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops